How Much Kink Is Too Much?

I’ve been sending my previously published short stories to a friend to do proofreading. As any writer knows, no matter how careful you are of how many people read your work, typos slip through. All my stories thus far have had minor issues.

What I’ve found interesting about the responses from my friend are a couple of comments that had nothing to do with grammar, missing words, or spelling blips. It was his commentary on certain aspects of the story I found intriguing. Particularly about the sex.

He sent me a note on the latest story that said he mostly loved the story. Mostly? What didn’t he like? His answer was that he didn’t like anal sex.

My automatic response was to tell him to have his wife use a smaller strap-on, but I restrained my out of control sense of humor. I’m not surprised that some aspects of what I write aren’t to a reader’s taste. In my stories, I go with what turns me on as I write.

Sometimes, that isn’t what other people find exciting. I’ve had some girl-on-girl rimming, creampie eating, and bisexual men in threesomes. Any of those might be an issue for the reader, but I haven’t gotten any complaints on the paying reader side. Yet. I’m sure they will come.

I do mention the bisexual male sex in the story blurb, but not the other two as they are minor parts of the story, in my opinion.

I also write about impregnation sex, lactating sex, pregnant sex, babysitter sex, virgin sex, and pseudo-incest. All clearly marked because they are big parts of the story that people should know about before reading. That way people can avoid a story filled with something they see as a turn-off.

The takeaway for me is that I can include some acts that a percentage of the readers might not like as long as it is an integral part of the story I’m telling. Yes, the sales might be lower for one with lesbian rimming. So be it. I write for my own pleasure, too. I’m being true to my muse.

Any kink you care to mention will squick someone. If you write vanilla sex stories, you likely won’t hit any land mines, but I think you’ll be making less money than if you explore some naughty subjects. And, in my opinion, you’ll have less fun writing.

Perhaps you could explore something less naughty than what I write, something like exhibitionism, BDSM, cuckolding, or one of many other subjects. Some of them can be found in a post last week by Selena Kitt on this very blog. Read it. It’s gold.

I’ve done moderately well with the kinks I’ve explored, so I intend to continue in those themes and explore others. My advice to you is write what gets you hot, no matter that it might turn some people off.

It doesn’t even have to be limited to what you feel comfortable doing yourself. Dig deep into those fantasies that you would never explore in real life. Put them on paper and you will find someone else that wants to hear about it.

This is erotica. We’re supposed to be a bit kinky. Or more than a bit.

On the flip side, if something turns you off, don’t write it. No matter how popular it may be. If you can’t feel the heat deep inside you, neither can your readers.

What secret kinks have you explored in the written word? What things have you never written about that you find secretly sexy? Tell us and then go write it.

amberadams69 (37 Posts)


  1. Claudia King says:

    This was definitely something on my mind recently, I even did a little blog post of my own on the subject and came to a similar conclusion. Those little niggles of “Am I going too far here?” can be a pain, but at the end of the day I agree it’s better to write something intensely hot for a niche audience than something bland you aren’t particularly passionate about.
    Still, it’s an issue I struggle with as I get into writing erotica more. It’ll be a while before I’m going totally wild with my fantasies, I expect. :)

    • Amber Adams says:

      How funny! I swear I hadn’t read yours before you commented. It’s a little spooky how similar they are!

      I think that when we refuse to explore our innermost fantasies, we leave something on the table. The story is poorer for our holding back. I believe a reader who is into the story is willing to give the author a lot a leeway because the heat is there.

      Like with a great movie. We can overlook some part of a movie if the whole is consistent and wonderful.

      Yes, I’ve thought about the same things you’ve posted about already on your blog. If someone reads my mainstream erotica, they might be in for a shock if they tried one of my naughtier stories. That’s one of the reasons I have a second pen name that has my mainstream erotica under it. If you look at my Amber titles, they are all on the kinkier side. And they outsell my mainstream erotica by a significant margin, too. On the order of 5:1.

      That by itself is a clue that I should keep pushing the envelope and writing kinky stories that make me hot. I still have some secret fantasies to explore. Who knows? A pegging story might be next. ;)

  2. Mrs Fever says:


    LOVE that word. Lol.

  3. At least your friend liked the story. Without a compelling story, whatever sex you have in your writing will be meaningless, emotionless and boring.

    • Amber Adams says:

      Agreed. I like some of my stories better than others, but I hope they all have a story to tell and put the characters in a new place when things are done. I’m all about character growth.

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